Ways to Help an Alcoholic: What You Can Actually Do to Support Recovery

Helping an alcoholic requires understanding what actually supports recovery and what inadvertently enables continued drinking.

What You'll Discover:

• What actually helps someone with an alcohol problem.

• What enabling looks like and how to avoid it.

• Practical support you can offer.

• How to encourage treatment.

• Taking care of yourself while helping.

• When professional intervention may help.

• Resources for family members.

Wanting to help someone you care about stop drinking is natural. However, not all help is actually helpful. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, family support can encourage recovery, but the type of support matters significantly.

Understanding What Actually Helps

The first thing to know is that helpful actions differ from what might seem helpful.

Truly helpful actions:

• Expressing concern without lecturing

• Offering specific resources and support

• Maintaining healthy boundaries

• Taking care of your own wellbeing

• Being patient with the process

• Celebrating progress without pressure

Actions that feel helpful but often aren't:

• Making excuses for their behavior

• Covering up consequences

• Repeatedly having the same conversation

• Providing money

• Drinking alongside them to monitor

• Controlling their access to alcohol

Something to consider is that helping someone change requires accepting what you can and cannot control. You cannot control their drinking; you can only control your own actions.

Avoiding Enabling

Enabling means protecting someone from the consequences of their drinking in ways that allow the behavior to continue.

Common enabling behaviors:

• Calling in sick for them after drinking

• Making excuses to family or friends

• Paying bills they've neglected due to drinking

• Bailing them out of alcohol-related problems

• Minimizing the severity of situations

• Accepting promises without changed behavior

Why enabling doesn't help: Shielding someone from consequences removes motivation to change. Natural consequences of drinking often drive the decision to seek help.

Stopping enabling:

• Let them experience consequences

• Don't cover up or make excuses

• Stop providing money for alcohol

• Allow them to face problems they created

This feels difficult because: Watching someone suffer feels cruel. But shielding them from consequences prolongs the problem.

For that reason, stepping back from enabling is one of the most powerful things you can do, even though it feels counterintuitive.

Practical Ways to Offer Support

Several concrete actions actually help.

Educate yourself:

• Learn about alcohol use disorder

• Understand treatment options

• Know that medication exists (like naltrexone)

• Recognize that recovery is possible

Offer resources:

• Research local treatment options

• Find telehealth providers

• Locate support group meetings

• Have information ready if they express willingness

Create supportive environment:

• Don't drink around them if helpful

• Avoid alcohol-centered activities

• Support sober social options

• Make recovery easier, not harder

Be available:

• Listen when they want to talk

• Offer to accompany them to appointments

• Check in regularly

• Be patient with the process

Encourage professional help:

• Suggest speaking with a doctor

• Share that medication options exist

• Offer to help them take first steps

• Don't do it for them but support their efforts

Our article on how naltrexone helps you regain control provides information about medication that you could share.

Encouraging Treatment

You can encourage treatment without forcing it.

Planting seeds:

• Share concern from a place of care

• Mention that help exists

• Note that people recover successfully

• Provide information without pressure

When they express willingness:

• Act quickly while motivation is present

• Help them schedule appointments

• Offer to go with them

• Remove practical barriers

What treatment looks like: Options include:

• Telehealth appointments with medication prescription

• Outpatient counseling

• Support groups like AA or SMART Recovery

• Intensive programs if needed

Medication as an option: Naltrexone is FDA-approved for alcohol use disorder. It works by blocking opioid receptors, reducing cravings and making alcohol less rewarding. It's taken as a daily 50mg tablet. Many people don't know this option exists. Sharing this information can be genuinely helpful.

All that said, you cannot force someone into treatment. You can only encourage and support.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries protect you while still supporting them.

Necessary boundaries may include:

• No alcohol in the house

• Not accepting abusive behavior

• Not providing money

• Not covering for them

• Not engaging when they're intoxicated

• Protecting children from harmful situations

Stating boundaries:

• Be clear and specific

• Explain the why if appropriate

• State consequences you're prepared to enforce

• Follow through consistently

Examples:

• "I won't call in sick for you anymore"

• "I need you to be sober when you're around the kids"

• "I won't lend you money"

• "I'll leave the room if you're drunk and angry"

Maintaining boundaries: Following through matters more than the initial statement. Inconsistent boundaries lose their meaning.

If it seems harsh to set boundaries, remember that boundaries protect both of you. They communicate seriousness while preserving your wellbeing.

Taking Care of Yourself

You cannot help effectively if you're depleted.

Self-care is essential:

• Your wellbeing matters independently

• Burnout helps no one

• You deserve support too

• You are not responsible for fixing them

Support for you:

• Al-Anon meetings for family members

• Individual therapy

• Trusted friends and family

• Online communities for loved ones

• Books about codependency and family systems

Healthy perspective:

• You did not cause their drinking

• You cannot control their drinking

• You cannot cure their drinking

• You can only control yourself

What you can do:

• Set and maintain boundaries

• Offer support without enabling

• Take care of your own needs

• Seek help for yourself

For that reason, getting your own support is not selfish or distracting; it's necessary.

When Professional Help May Be Needed

Sometimes professional intervention is appropriate.

Consider professional help if:

• Their drinking is dangerous to themselves or others

• Children or vulnerable people are at risk

• Your own safety is concerned

• You need guidance on how to proceed

• An organized intervention seems appropriate

Types of professional help:

• Addiction counselors who advise families

• Therapists specializing in family systems

• Professional interventionists

• Medical professionals

Organized interventions: Formal interventions involve gathering family and friends with a professional facilitator. These can be effective but require careful planning and professional guidance.

Crisis situations: If there's immediate danger, prioritize safety. Contact emergency services if needed.

Resources for Family Members

Various resources support families of people with alcohol problems.

Al-Anon:

• Support groups for family and friends

• 12-step based approach

• Meetings available in-person and online

• Focus on your own recovery regardless of what they do

Therapy:

• Individual therapy for processing your experience

• Family therapy if they're willing to participate

• Specialized training in addiction and family systems

Books and education:

• Literature about codependency

• Education about alcohol use disorder

• Recovery stories from family perspective

Online resources:

• SAMHSA resources for families

• Educational websites

• Online support communities

Moving Forward

Helping someone with an alcohol problem requires patience, boundaries, and self-care. Focus on what you can actually do: offer information, support treatment if they're willing, maintain healthy boundaries, and take care of yourself. Change happens in their own time, but your support can be part of what makes it possible.

If your loved one is ready to explore treatment, they can take the online Alcohol Use Assessment to see if naltrexone and the Choose Your Horizon program might be right for them.